How To Maintain The Illusion With Your Partner
Maintaining the illusion in a relationship is often portrayed as a process in which you have to work hard, in which you have to show affection “in a big way”, doing extraordinary things or buying a gift of high value.
The illusion is that impulse of energy that brings light to our mornings and excitement to our nights. That indispensable dimension in our relationships. But even when it is highly valued, it is not a material good. Therefore, you cannot stay alive with gifts alone.
The illusion in the couple is fed day by day
In the early stages of a relationship, the illusion is something constant, which gives us a rush of joy and adrenaline and that revitalizes that relationship with the person we love. It also makes our daily tasks and responsibilities lighter.
The illusion is that flame that makes us take the hand of the person we love and appreciate the relationship in its entirety. Hence, it is worth knowing how to feed it.
1. The little details
What do the happiest and most stable couples do? What is your secret? It is actually something very simple, to take care of the details.
Although we must not forget to say out loud the “I love you” with feeling, it is also necessary to show the other person that he is important to us through the little things, such as: a long hug, a note in his notebook so that she knows how good a smile feels, listening carefully when she exposes her deepest ideas or feelings, encouraging her to move forward despite her fears when she wants to undertake a project, giving her a caress when she is tired or a tender kiss in moments of intimacy, like before going to sleep.
2. Beware of routines
Getting up, having breakfast, going to work, running errands, taking out the garbage, cleaning the kitchen, doing the dishes, eating, sleeping… these are activities that we must do every day and that are not exactly negative. They help us take care of ourselves (ourselves and those with whom we share intimacy) and also help us achieve small goals (such as keeping the house in order, maintaining a healthy weight or a good sleep routine, etc.).
However, conforming to the routine and avoiding any modification can lead to boredom and apathy, for this reason, it is necessary to vary it at least a little from time to time.
Jogging together at sunset when they used to do it at another time or separately can be a different experience, capable of adding some variety to the routine. Also a different dinner, prepared between the two of you on any given day (not necessarily on a Friday), simply to enjoy a series on the computer while eating can be a different gesture that enlivens the illusion.
Weekend getaways, special breakfasts in the open air or in a local, walks on the other side of the city that hardly frequent are other ways to maintain the illusion. They are necessary and healthy for both and do not require large productions.
Do not let fatigue from work or other obligations make you put aside these types of gestures.
3. The sense of humor
The laughter, sharing good moments of joy and relaxation and moments of genuine spontaneity makes alleviate tensions and to enjoy in common with complicity. Always give each other a moment to laugh at nonsense, exchange jokes or whatever you want because they find it fun. Try to have the most fun when you are together, as if nothing else matters.
Remember that humor helps us to relativize problems, to relieve us of routine worries, to recharge ourselves with optimism and to cultivate common place in the couple.
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4. Your partner is your accomplice, your friend and confidant
If we trust our partner, our self-esteem is strengthened, and the illusion increases. Therefore, seeing the other person as that to whom we can tell our intimacies, desires, aspirations, thoughts … is a precious gesture to maintain the illusion.
This complicity invites us to share in a genuine way, to strengthen the bond in different ways and to strengthen each other. At the same time, it makes both of you feel accepted, protected, and understood.
5. The illusion of making plans
A couple that does not make plans is that they do not trust their future. It is not just about making plans for next weekend, but plans for tomorrow, a common project.
Future plans are the best stimulus to maintain the illusion because they show us that the other person includes us in their wishes for the future. Be careful, you don’t have to make plans just because, but because we really feel or imagine them. In addition, it is nice to build that vision for the future between the two of you, brainstorming ideas and finding a way to move towards them, step by step.
Maintaining the illusion is not just a matter of having dinner together at a restaurant, giving each other things, going out to exotic places or going to an amusement fair every weekend. It’s really about appreciating the beautiful gestures and moments that can emerge from anything on a daily basis.
