If A Couple Agrees On Everything, It Means That Someone Thinks For Both Of Them

No couple, no matter how intense, wise and respectful their relationship may be, can always agree on every aspect, on every detail and nuance of their day-to-day life.

A couple makes agreements. A solid and mature relationship is one that allows us to respect differences. Through dialogue and a good commitment, bridges of union are built.

It is possible that you have also heard the typical person who full of enthusiasm tells us that “my partner and I never argue and we agree in everything we do”.

The “soul mates”

These types of phrases are usually added to “we are soul mates . Without a doubt, it is exciting to think that it really is like that, that there are couples who have no difference and who breathe harmony in their day to day.

However, we all know that these kinds of realities are rare. What’s more: this aspect does not refer only to affective relationships.

Friends also have their differences and are appreciated in the same way. There are also discussions and differences of opinions within every well-avenged family, but there is still coexistence and respect. We suggest you reflect on this issue with us.

If a couple always agrees, someone has the power

It may sound negative and even annoying to many people. Is it so strange that a couple harmonizes 100% in every aspect of their personality, passions and thoughts?

The answer is yes. What happens then when we see two people who never argue and who do not reach agreements because there are no discrepancies? What happens is that one of the two has the power and wields it relentlessly.

Power in the couple: there is no reason to always agree

Something that we should be aware of is that in every relationship there is a small power game. Far from seeing it as a problem, in reality, it is an exchange of forces where we get to know each other better and establish positions.

  • It is possible that one member of the couple is always the one who objects to everything. The other person learns, in turn, to manage these situations. In this way, you will be able to  take the discrepancies to a calmer ground where you reach agreements.
  • Now, in some cases, there is not even room for differences. It is all or nothing. “Either you agree with what I think, think and decide or this breaks.”
  • In the latter cases, we have two options: give up or leave the relationship. The complex thing about all this is that there are people for whom love weighs too much to say goodbye.

They decide to “give in.” They prefer to be silent, accept and not object because “letting go” allows you to keep the relationship afloat.

Think different, have the same project

As we can deduce, no relationship based on the power of a single person can be satisfactory or happy. As much as we try to “wish to agree” in everything with the being we love, it is impossible.

  • We must understand that the fact of not agreeing in certain aspects does not mean that our partner loves us less, or that we love them less.
  • Love is not magically colliding with someone so that everything fits to the millimeter. The true power and true beauty of a relationship is being able to respect our differences to reach agreements.
  • Furthermore, the simple fact that we have different interests can be enriching. It helps us to have other points of view, to learn from each other and to broaden perspectives.

Reaching agreements, a matter of will and reciprocity

agree

We know that in our language the words “discuss” or “have differences” seem very negative to us.

  • However, it is time to understand that it is the only way for a relationship to move forward.  Any bond with someone is healthy, sincere and dynamic. We must learn to manage our differences.
  • To reach agreements and adequate points of confluence, there must be an authentic recognition of the other person. “I understand your needs and your points of view and I respect you.”
  • Dimensions such as empathy and active listening are essential, even more so in an affective relationship.
  • They are aspects based on a complete emotional opening in which you have to  see the other person as part of yourself.

Likewise, the value of reciprocity is that essential ingredient that must form the substrate of any relationship. It is to understand that love is not just giving, it is also necessary to receive, give, understand, respect …

All of this should make us understand that any couple capable of reaching agreements for the common good will undoubtedly be the one that achieves a happier and more lasting bond. It is worth working on it.

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