Lying In Adolescence: The Dreaded Scenario

Without a doubt, lying in adolescence is one of the things that most worries parents. Although it can hide various reasons, in general it is a feared scenario due to the complexity that this stage entails.

What is lying? Not telling the truth or hiding it? Must there be some animosity in not telling the truth for us to consider being faced with a lie? What happens when parents lie?

The first questions

Are there big and small lies? Or do they all, even the smallest and most harmless, have the same value? These and other questions are what we often ask ourselves when we are faced with a scenario in which lies are possible.

Sometimes they appear to us in a more veiled way and, on other occasions, the lie in adolescence occurs in a crouching way, waiting to filter through some space.

Adolescence and lies

During early adolescence, young people spend more and more time doing things with their friends without the supervision of adults (such as parents and teachers, for example). Since the social life of adolescents tends to move away from the home environment, parents are dependent on what their children say about what time they return, where they go, who they spend time with …

Of course, not all young people tell the truth and this can negatively affect the trust that is generated in the parent-child relationship. Thus, when parents realize that their children are lying to them, they may want to try to avoid talking to the adolescent for fear that their children will lie or simply because they no longer believe what the young people are telling them.

Parents’ role

Parents… can you talk to your children about this topic? How can they prevent the lie from appearing? Just as children are not born from a cabbage, neither are lies and they record a history and trajectories.

During childhood, infants can confuse reality with fantasy and give free rein to the imagination. It could be interpreted that these stories harbor certain lying spaces, but the motivation is innocent and as the child grows this type of game will disappear.

The problem is when the child understands that through lies he can obtain something, for example, a secondary benefit.

Lying in adolescence: possible scenarios

Other occasions in which the lie may be present is when parents have very severe restrictions on exits and permits, or an anguished look at the existence of difficulties such as the delivery of school grades or the “finding accidental ”from a cigarette in his backpack.

Researchers from the University of Oviedo point out that:

The educational centers are going through a period of adaptation to the new forms of interaction that occur in the student’s relationship with their environment.

In their research, the authors describe pretend or pretend behavior during adolescence, and analyze pretend behavior as a result of the child’s survival needs in the society in which they live.

When is lying in adolescence worrisome?

The lies – when they are occasional – should not be worrisome, but they do set off some alerts so that they do not crystallize. You need to intervene when they become a habit. 

Why adolescence?

Adolescence is a stage in the search for one’s own identity, autonomy, independence and differentiation from parents. For this reason, there are many occasions in which the wishes of adolescents do not coincide with those of their parents, and that is conducive to the appearance of lies.

The lie and the teenagers

• Lying in adolescence can indicate that the young person has not yet found his way and that lying gives him or her an identity.
• It is essential to note that the shortcuts developed by lies often appear to be easy solutions, but they are short-lived and therefore harmful.

In any case, lying in adolescence is something common that most young people do. Do not be alarmed if you find yourself in this situation: communication is the best way in any case.