Verbal Abuse: Examples And Recommendations
No one has the right to insult, belittle or denigrate another human being. Interpersonal relationships must be based on respect.
Verbal abuse is, as its name suggests, a type of aggression towards the other. For this reason, it should not be allowed. In fact, action must be taken and reported ; since it violates the dignity of a person, the victim.
It may not be easy to assume or distinguish. Therefore, we show you some examples and recommendations so that you are alert.
What is verbal abuse?
Verbal abuse is defined as “excessive use of language to undermine someone’s dignity and safety through insults or humiliation, suddenly or repeatedly”.
Its very definition indicates that it can be presented in different ways. That is, it can be an insult, a rude comment, etc. In this way, the dignity and self-esteem of the abused person are affected by the abuser, who considers that he or she has the “authority” or the “privilege” to be able to attack another human being in this way.
Verbal abuse, as a type of emotional abuse, occurs in any setting and affects anyone. In this sense, it is possible that it is present among children, adolescents, adults or the elderly. In addition, it can occur in different areas such as the couple, between friends, at work, etc.
What does verbal abuse include?
Verbal abuse does not leave bruises or wounds, but it is also a type of abuse and aggression. However, it is more difficult to detect.
As explained by specialist Sharon W. Stark, it can include:
- Aggressive outbursts (insults and humiliations).
- Accusations.
- Blaming the other person.
- Judging and criticizing in a humiliating or rude way.
- Minimize, devalue the victim.
- Contempt.
- Order, ask for things demanding them, speak shouting.
- Threats
- Humiliating or degrading nicknames.
Sometimes you can lose your temper and “go overboard.” However, you have to reconsider in time and ask for forgiveness, acknowledging the damage caused to the other person.
On the other hand, verbal abuse is a repeated and conscious practice to humiliate and denigrate the other person whom the abuser considers inferior.
Examples of verbal abuse
Here are some examples:
- In the couple. One member of the couple “orders” things instead of asking for them. Also, he yells arrogantly; humiliating the other. The abuser considers that the other person is at his service and has no value. Furthermore, he believes that it is the victim’s obligation to “serve” him.
- In the group of friends. The abuser uses humiliating and hurtful nicknames. Furthermore, they may even threaten or belittle you in front of the group.
- At work. The boss orders using rude comments – even in front of other colleagues – to refer to a worker or their work. There is humiliation in public or in private. His criticism is constant, humiliating, and not constructive.
- Old people. For example, a caregiver insults the elderly person and orders him to do things without respecting him; belittling and humiliating him.
- In parent-child relationships. Denigrating nicknames are used for the child, he is insulted or devalued by telling him that he does not know how to do anything or that he is useless. In particular, the marks that abuse leaves on children can carry over into adulthood.
To do?
The first step is to acknowledge that there is verbal abuse. Indeed, the main thing is to identify the problem because, if you don’t, you won’t be able to do anything to avoid it either.
Second, you have to set limits. In fact, these limits should exist even before the relationship is established; so that the abuser understands that he does not have the privilege or the right to humiliate.
On the other hand, if setting limits the abuse does not stop, it is time to seek help (which will depend on the area in which the abuse occurs). Thus, for example, if verbal abuse occurs in the partner, a therapist or trusted person could intervene. But if there is abuse, as stated in an article published by the Journal of Legal Medicine of Costa Rica , it should be reported.
However, if verbal abuse occurs between minors at school, the victim must make it known to the center and their parents, so that the protocol against school bullying is implemented.
Is fear keeping you from acting?
In any case, asking for help or reporting is the most important step. But it is not easy, and sometimes the victim due to his low self-esteem has created a dependency relationship with the abuser.
Other times, fear of consequences prevents abusers from reporting it or seeking help. In fact, the abuser may threaten if something like this is done (for example, the boss threatens dismissal).
Thus, the most important and fundamental step is to lose fear and report this type of abuse. Only then will it stop and the victim can, at last, regain their self-esteem and dignity.
