How To Regain Self-esteem After A Breakup

The end of a relationship can be a very stressful situation, since it implies an end and a beginning, that is, the closing of a stage and the readjustment to a new lifestyle. For this reason, it is important to pay attention to self-esteem after a breakup, to prevent it from suffering too much, that we end up thinking negatively and that despair rules us because we believe that others are happier.

It is normal to feel sad, angry or confused, since it is a new situation from which many things will change. The expectations about the future with the other person have been broken, the illusions have vanished and it is time to assume a new reality.

However, many factors play a role in dealing with a breakout. It all depends on the type of relationship that is maintained, the circumstances that have triggered its end and the personality of those involved.

Therefore, below we give you the keys so that you know how to manage self-esteem after a breakup. Thus, the rebuilding process will be much more bearable for you and you will begin to feel better.

What is self esteem?

First of all, you have to understand what self-esteem is, as it is a word that is heard frequently, but to which many meanings are attributed. Psychology dictionaries usually define it  as the assessment we make of ourselves.

That is, it encompasses all those perceptions, feelings, thoughts and evaluations about ourselves to which we constantly submit. Some studies, such as this one by Srinivas College, indicate the following:

Thus, if we do not enjoy good self-esteem, we can hardly feel good, since  the first step to achieve this is to accept ourselves.

How do you know if a breakup has affected self-esteem?

When a relationship is brought to an end, it is common to experience emotional distress. Now, this does not mean that everything is wrong in our life or that more things will end. Of course, it is convenient to make sure if it is a definitive break, a time to think or a relationship crisis.

Be that as it may, the most important thing is that we understand that the love we need resides within us, although we generally seek it outside. An error that is also usually encouraged more after a breakup, due to the experimentation of that void left by the other person. And that is precisely why it is necessary to work on oneself.

In addition, they are usually moments of confusion, sadness, anger and nostalgia, of not knowing what to do or how to act and above all of wanting that anguish to pass quickly, but above all you have to be patient. We must be understanding with ourselves and not punish or blame ourselves because what happened does not have to define us.

Although the other person is no longer in our close circle, life goes on and we must continue our path of evolution.

Now, if you experience any of the following sensations, it is important that you be attentive and that you begin to work on yourself, as they indicate that your self-esteem is affected after the breakup.

Indicators of low self-esteem

• Feeling that life has lost its meaning because that person has left.
• When you look in the mirror, you look horrible and you think that no one else will fall in love with you.
• You think that the person who left was the perfect one and the only one for you on the planet.
• You take that person who has left as a point of reference to make comparisons with the rest of the people you know.
• Neglecting your personal image and you no longer worry about your appearance.
• You are not enthusiastic about anything, you have lost your motivation and you are no longer interested in the activities that you used to love.
• You feel that the pain does not allow you to have clear thoughts.

• You experience guilt for many events and you think that if you had acted differently, in certain situations, perhaps that person would be by your side.

If you feel identified, you must understand that solitude can also be enjoyed and that there is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact, it is a good time to connect with you, discover yourself, learn from what you lived and give yourself that love that you need so much, that which comes from you and resides within you.

Steps to regain self-esteem after a breakup

There is no magic formula to get over a breakup. However, it can be overcome through patience, self-confidence, and self-love. Or what is the same: betting on you.

To start, you must follow the following recommendations:

• Unburden yourself and experience all the stages of grief after the breakup, without trying to avoid or suppress them. It is preferable to show someone you trust what you feel, instead of keeping quiet.
• Do not resort to evasion, just live it, because this is the best way to turn wounds into doors of light to be reborn. After this process you will be the only protagonist of your life.

• After living this moment, you will understand that your life does not depend on that person, nor should it revolve around them. You are two people, two different worlds and each of you can make the most of your life by exploiting all its potentialities.
• Establish a new routine, break with the old habits you had.
• Start searching inward. Happiness is in you and not in someone else’s life. Nurturing love for yourself is a crucial step in accepting yourself and discovering your worth.
• Avoid burnout by talking all the time about that person and what happened. It’s okay to vent, but then you have to regain your attention to ourselves to return to being our center.
• Take care of yourself, love yourself, take care of your appearance. Look in the mirror and appreciate your beauty.
• Pay attention to physical and mental health.  Talk to a psychologist if you need it and try all those activities that you used to love again.

The most important love is your own

If you love and value yourself, you will realize that there are facets of you that you did not even know, things that you did not think you were capable of, but that now, with a high self-esteem, you can achieve.

A breakup is much more than an ending. It is also a new beginning, an opportunity to open up to a new lifestyle, in which you decide what you want to do, where to go and who you want to surround yourself with. Never stop being your plan A.